


up and down

by rivernyx (orphan_account)



Category: VIXX
Genre: Confessions, Ferris Wheels, Lee Hongbin is So Done, M/M, With A Twist, boys being cute and adorable and fluffy, but not really, he's also kind of a little shit, hyukkie just wants to have fun, kong is afraid of heights poor child
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-03
Updated: 2018-01-03
Packaged: 2019-02-27 21:30:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,840
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13257027
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/rivernyx
Summary: Three times Lee Hongbin rides a ferris wheel.





	up and down

**Author's Note:**

> oof hello~ welcome to a thingamajig i made instead of sleeping ehueh so it might not be that good. anyways enjoy~

The first time Hongbin goes on a Ferris Wheel, it's barely anywhere near romantic. He's gripping the bar that secures both him and Sanghyuk, lips pursed tightly as his insides do backflips and jumping jacks and cartwheels inside his stomach- and not in the pleasant way either.

It's in one of those neighborhood fairs, where the rides go way too fast and are far more terrifying than those Ferris Wheels of skyscraper heights in amusement parks. It's in one of those Ferris Wheels where you feel like all breath is leaving your lungs, where you feel like you're going to throw up because you're going too fast, up and down and up and down.

And the highest point isn't even high up but damn does Hongbin hate heights.

He squeezes his eyes shut the entire time, sweaty palms clutching the bar so tightly that his knuckles have paled. Sanghyuk (beside him, hands crossed over his chest and leaning back against the shaking, squeaking compartment) laughs lightly.

The compartment rocks underneath Hyuk's weight and "Oh my God, Sanghyuk, I will scream!"

"Don't be so scared," Sanghyuk teases (Hongbin is terrified-pissed right now, damn Han Sanghyuk for forcing him on this thing.) "Calm down. It'll get better soon."

Hongbin wants to scoff. Yeah, right.

The rising of the Ferris Wheel is far less terrifying than the way it falls, the way it feels like it's plummeting down, down, down, gravity in full force-

Then there's the temporary relief of their compartment going up again. Hongbin breathes in deeply, hands shaking. Sanghyuk tells a joke- distracting him from the fear- and he manages to laugh brokenly.

The Ferris Wheel comes to a sudden halt and it takes Hongbin everything in him to stop himself from being thrown off the ride- well, it feels that way, anyway. Someone is probably getting on. Or off. Hongbin has no idea why anyone would want to ride this horrid contraption.

He has no idea why he'd agreed to this in the first place.

They're stuck up here, in this horrid contraption high, high up, several meters from the ground. Hongbin still has his eyes closed. They may as well have been superglued shut.

But then there's a breeze. Softly kissing Hongbin's skin, caressing him like a lover's embrace.

"See, the wind is so nice," Sanghyuk says, and his palm smooths over the back of Hongbin's hand. It relaxes him, calms him down considerably.

"Not so bad now, right?" Sanghyuk continues coaxingly. There isn't a single hint of malice or playfulness or mischief in Sanghyuk's voice; none of that slightly mocking teasing from earlier.

There is only… reassurance. Reassurance and comfort. There is only the warmth of a hand clasped around his and the soft lilt of Sanghyuk's voice in the otherwise completely silent world.

It feels like right now, it's only the two of them that exist.

"Come on, hyung, open your eyes," now there's the slightest grin in his voice and Hongbin stubbornly grits his teeth. "Like I said, hyung, it's not that bad. You can take a picture. You like photography, don't you?"

"I hate heights," Hongbin scowls.

"You don't have to look down," Sanghyuk says.

And so, Hongbin shakily opens his eyes, is greeted by tents and the booths in the fair ad mountains and trees and houses- a sight that takes his breath away. The wind washes over them. It's refreshing. The air feels cool in his lungs.

He looks at Sanghyuk who just grins, "See? Let's take a picture, hyung!" he says eagerly, already fishing out his phone, opening up the camera app and switching to self-camera mode.

"Cheese, hyung!" he says, laughs, and Hongbin grins too, the twin dimples of his popping out.

There's a snap before the Ferris Wheel starts turning again- much faster now, his head is spinning- and they plummet down and float back up again, Sanghyuk's delighted "whee!"s sounding like music to Hongbin's ears.

"It's kind of like, amazing, you know?" Sanghyuk says in between pants for breath and enthusiastic screams, "How it feels so good up there. Kind of like Heaven!"

"God's giving us a taste of Heaven before we die," Hongbin deadpans and Sanghyuk just shakes his head, leaning back and making this metal cradle-esque cart of theirs rock, god damn it.

"Don't be so negative, hyungie!"

And up and down and up and down they go, Hongbin growing gradually used to it with every round, Sanghyuk with his hands thrown out, on the top of the world.

Sanghyuk frowns when it has to end, but Hongbin is nearly melting in relief, staggering off the wheel with shaky feet and holding onto Sanghyuk as a means of support.

"Never again," he says, "Never again!"

Sanghyuk laughs and helps Hongbin regain his balance, grabbing him by the wrist as he whisks him away to whatever other rides he has in mind.

  
~

  
"No fucking way," Hongbin says, staring at Sanghyuk in disbelief. Sanghyuk only smiles and nudges Hongbin in the direction of the queue for the Ferris Wheel.

"Yes fucking way," Sanghyuk says and Hongbin shakes his head stubbornly, refusing to move from his spot.

"I am so not getting on that thing," he says, lips pushed into a thin line.

Sanghyuk laughs, arms wrapping around Hongbin, staring sweetly at him because he knows how little it will take for Hongbin to cave.

"It won't be so bad," he promises, "See. It's going to be much slower. Plus the compartments will be spacious and much more compact and uh… secure."  
  
Hongbin just stares back at him.

"But look at the size of that thing!" he cries, pointing up at the enormous Ferris Wheel. It's more than twice the size of the one he'd first ridden on, rising farther above the mall beside the amusement part they're at. Sanghyuk pouts, tugging almost childishly at Hongbin's sleeve.

"But hyung, it'll be fun, I promise!" he insists, clutching the sleeve of Hongbin's blue-and-green plaid flannel tightly. "And the view will be amazing! I swear on it!"

"You said that last time!"

"But you did have fun last time!"

Hongbin reddens and sighs and gives in, making Sanghyuk jump happily and push him to the line.

He pays for tickets, steps toward the enormous Ferris Wheel, and looks up at it while they wait for their turn to get on. He swallows, intimidated, suddenly regretting every life choice that has led him to this predicament.

"You won't regret it, hyung!" Sanghyuk promises him, his grin wide and sweet and excited.

"I already am," Hongbin says dryly. Sanghyuk ignores that, instead fixes the camera strap around Hongbin's neck and looks at him approvingly.

"See, you're all set! Ethereally good-looking as always," he says, giving Hongbin a thumbs up, and Hongbin feels his face warm up under Sanghyuk's gaze.

"If i don't die from all these Ferris Wheels I'm going to die cringing myself to death."

Sanghyuk laughs again ("Oh, hyung, I know you don't mean that,") and nods to himself, and it almost feels like Sanghyuk is checking him out. Hongbin's warm face gets even warmer.

"Ah, hyung is getting embarrassed," Sanghyuk snickers, "It's a bit cute."

"God. Please. Stop."

If Hongbin has a won for everytime Sanghyuk laughs that (very nice) laugh this night alone he'd be a millionaire before it even hits midnight.

"Anyways," Sanghyuk says once they're finally about to board the Ferris Wheel, "Get your camera ready. It's not always that you end up in a Ferris Wheel (in an amusement part with the most ridiculous entrance fee ever) where it's supposed to have the most, most, most amazing view in all of Korea."

Hongbin sweats at the idea of having to board now and clutches his camera like his life depends on it. He sits beside Sanghyuk, resolves not to look down or to the side or up, or any direction really, lest he be reminded of how high up they are going to be.

Sanghyuk watches him in amusement and nods at the person in charge of assisting the passengers, who in turn nods back and pulls down the security bar. There's a click when it locks into place.

"Have fun,"

And then they're going up.

The second time Hongbin rides a Ferris Wheel, it _is_ in one of those high-budget, well-known amusement parks, where the way it rises is slow and steady and kind of romantic. Where stars glitter above their heads and the landscape of the city at night slowly comes into view and steals youre breath away.

Hongbin has his breath held, his muscles tightly knit, his lips pursed (Sanghyuk chuckles and shakes his head, "hyung, don't be so tense!") as they ascend, and Sanghyuk leans back.

Thank god it doesn't rock.

"Fuck you, really," Hongbin complains.

Sanghyuk's lips quirk up.

"You'll see what I mean soon," he promises, "Just don't be so stubborn."

Hongbin's mind thinks up the most ridiculous things as they go up and up and up; what if the Ferris Wheel suddenly falls over? What if something happens and this contraption falls of its hinges and rolls away into oblivion? What if an alien comes and abducts them? What if there's an earthquake?

Suddenly he's terrified, and he's holding onto the bar with sweaty hands like it's the only thing holding him together, and Sanghyuk has the nerve to chuckle!

"Hyung, you won't be able to appreciate the view,"

"I don't care about the view!" he has his eyes screwed shut again (part of him acknowledges the sensation of deja vu washing over him) and they're so high up now- he can feel it- the way they're slowly escalating higher and higher up- and suddenly it's getting really, really hard to breathe. "I wanna get down!"

Then there's that familiar slide of a hand over his (and deja vu indeed) and Hongbin takes a deep breath, slowly calming down.

The Ferris Wheel stops.

"Hyung, we're at the top now," Sanghyuk whispers, "You can open your eyes."

And Hongbin does so and- damn, they are so high up, and Hongbin's breath hitches for a moment because the view is so breathtaking and so beautiful. He can see the twinkling lights of Seoul, the Han River, the parks and the trees and the warm homes of people he does not know.

"Told you you wouldn't regret it," Sanghyuk says, and Hongbin moves to hit him. Sanghyuk catches his wrist.

"They say if you make a wish at this very point, it will come true," Sanghyuk tells him with that smile that makes him feel all warm and fuzzy inside. "Make a wish, hyung,"

So Hongbin does.

He closes his eyes and makes a wish, and when he opens his eyes Sanghyuk isn't looking at him anymore, instead staring out into the distance.

"Hey hyung, I've always loved Ferris Wheels ever since I was a kid," he says.

"Of course you did,"

Sanghyuk chuckles and he looks back at Hongbin, and underneath the glitter of a thousand stars, Sanghyuk's eyes are shining.

"And I've always thought it would be beautifully romantic," he whispers, and Hongbin is painfully aware of how close their faces are to each other, and his palms are suddenly sweaty and his heart is beating fast, "To have your first kiss on a Ferris Wheel."

And then their lips are touching.

Slow. Languid. Sanghyuk's lips are soft, so soft against Hongbin's own. Hongbin's hand has somehow found a way to sneak up and entangle his fingers in Sanghyuk's hair.

It feels like the world has suddenly clicked into place. It feels like all the unanswered questions in Hongbin's life have suddenly been solved.

Sanghyuk pulls away, "I really like you, hyung,"

His cheeks are painted a beautiful rosy red, a stark contrast against his skin, which is milky pain from the moonlight spilling on both of them.

Hongbin says, "I really like you too, Hyukkie,"

They don't talk for the rest of the ride, but Sanghyuk has his head on Hongbin's shoulder and Hongbin has an arm snaked across Hyuk's back to hold onto Hyuk, pulling him closer.

Later, with their hands entwined as they walk around the amusement park, Hongbin asks, "Did you really do all that just to confess to me?"

Sanghyuk laughs, hiding his face in Hongbin's sleeve.

  
~

  
The first time Hongbin rides a ferris wheel, it's like falling in love. There's the danger that comes with it, the thrill, and the fear, and your stomach backflipping and cartwheeling and filling with butterflies as you plunge down and fall fast and hard.

And then the excitement when you rise, when you take a hit of your favorite drug, and you get high, only to fall once again.

the second time Hongbin rides a ferris wheel, it's the slow intimacy of a relationship. subtle touches, taking risks, making compromises to make your partner happy. Being with your loved one and feeling at home. Sitting beside your significant other, your soulmate, and feeling safe and secure and warm.

There is a third one, of course. A fourth and a fifth, and it goes on and on. Sanghyuk has to force him everytime, and every single time, Hongbin gives in.

He can't say no to those wide, pleading eyes. He can't refuse the way Sanghyuk pouts. Can't deny the eagerness that Sanghyuk gives off everytime they encounter the ride.

Plus, Sanghyuk always holds his hand when they ride one. And Sanghyuk kisses him when they get to the top. who is he to say no to that?

("I just love them, a lot," Sanghyuk had said once, when Hongbin had asked. A shrug, "They make me feel free, I guess. I love how it feels to be- at the top. It makes me feel like I can fly."

Hongbin couldn't probably have understood, especially considering how he loathes heights- and by extension, ferris wheels as well- with a passion.)

Hongbin looks at the line stretching in front of him. So many people want to ride this thing, and he has no idea why. Five years after his first ride and he still can't understand why people like it so much.

Yet here he is, waiting in line so that he can ride it as well.

"A ticket for one, please," Hongbin tells the cashier when it's his turn, pushing a wad of cash into the booth. As he waits for her to get the ticket ready, he looks up at the ferris wheel waiting for him to get on.

"Here you go, sir. enjoy!" the cashier says cheerfully, slipping him a small yellow card. A ticket. He nods and goes over to the employee waiting by the ride, who immediately helps him to get on.

"You're alone, sir?"

"Yes," Hongbin says, trying to keep his tone polite. After all, isn't it quite obvious?

The employee quickly nods and lowers the safety handle before stepping away and letting the wheel rise.

It's been a long time since Hongbin's last rode a ferris wheel.

He takes a lot of pictures as he goes up, trying to distract himself from the uneasiness in his stomach. He thinks that feeling of discomfort will always be there. He bites his lower lip. He can do this.

He closes his eyes and lets it all wash over him. The breeze, the calmness of the night, the chilly autumn air. he breathes. It's nice and cold. He loves how refreshing the air feels in his lungs. He opens his eyes again when the wheel stops turning.

He makes a wish. He looks up and he smiles.

Hyuk had always loved Ferris Wheels. He said they made him feel free. They made him feel happy. He holds a hand up, as if reaching for a star.

Five years since the day Sanghyuk had bought tickets for two, told him that 'it would be fun, hyung, don't be such a sourpuss.' Five years since Sanghyuk had pushed him into that Ferris Wheel that went too fast, the Ferris Wheel that made Hongbin dizzy and nauseous and scared-

And up to now, he doesn't understand what the big deal about it is, why people love it so much.

Yet here he is, hundreds of miles above the ground, where the people down below look like tiny ants flocking into their anthills.

Here he is, far, far away from the comfort of the concrete- but completely fine with it. Because here, high up here where the view is beautiful and the air is cold and the stars are still out of reach, here where it's so high up, so terrifyingly high-

It's the one place Hongbin can be closest to Sanghyuk- who must be flying around right now, with dovelike wings, embracing his freedom and living his dream and watching them all.

'Make a wish,' he hears Sanghyuk's voice say, and he wishes a second time that night. He wishes Sanghyuk was still here.

Hongbin cries as the wheel brings him back down, away from Heaven, back to Earth.

  


**Author's Note:**

> It's 2 am. I should go to bed ^_^v
> 
> I hoped you all liked it~ and uh... don't hesitate to leave a comment or kudos or- yeah. Ahah. I feel awkward asking this.
> 
> Ly all~
> 
> ~nyx out


End file.
